Reflecting

...and I'm not going out tonight, although it's Saturday. Sometimes I wonder why I'm the way I am, and why I'm not another way, why I do this but not the opposite. They look like such silly questions, but essential and too useful if we all asked them more often. There are lots of things most people don't see, don't notice, or don't care because they live in a hurry, as my friend Laura was telling me some minutes ago. Maybe it's because one has in mind other considerations, or uselessly expects others to look at the world in a different way, which wouldn't be totally fair either.
Some months ago, with my already mentioned friend I concluded in the fact that I was one of Cortázar's "cronopios". Then, I typed out my "discovery" in my MSN nickname, and every time someone asked me what that really meant, I showed them the following fragment:

“The Cronopios are lonely beings who let others be with them, are supportive and don't like injustices; they're authentic and always let the cat out of the bag because of being sincere and sensitive. Differently from the Famas, who prefer straight roads to arrive as soon as possible and save time, the Cronopios get easily amazed by those roads full of non-lineal diversions because of that way they may meet people, as well as they advance in an unpredictable way and stop every moment to pick a flower up or comtemplate a sunset.”

(my approximated translation of a fragment about "Historias de cronopios y de famas" -1962-, by Julio Cortázar)

...and that way I go on with my search, now knowing what I exactly was expecting from the others, without losing contact with those cronopios who have already been found halfway.